My Social Media Meltdown: Can An Introverted Writer Conquer The Internet?

I am, without question, an introvert.  I'm not the life of the party (well, unless there are several margaritas involved), I'm not the one organizing playdates and mom's nights out, and I'm not the one chatting up somebody I've never met at the park just because our kids look to be about the same age.

If I don't know you, I'm probably not going to talk to you.

It's nothing personal, it's just my nature.  It's not that I don't want to talk to you or get to know you, it's just that I find the whole putting myself out there thing kind of exhausting.

And it turns out that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

What Is An Introvert? 

Dictionary.com defines an introvert as a "reserved or shy person."

According to the Myers-Briggs' definition, an "introvert derives energy from his or her internal world of emotions and ideas, while an extrovert draws from the outside world of people and activities for spiritual sustenance."

I even found one site that described an introvert as a person who "is drained by social interaction."

Is that me?  Um, yes.  Check, check, check.  And a lot of other people too.

The Introverted Writer  

Writing has, historically, been an excellent profession for introverts.  As a writer, it used to be that you were left alone with your own thoughts and ideas.  You didn't have to converse with other people or listen to what they had to say in order to put your own thoughts on paper.  I know, paper, right? 

You could publish what you wrote in a magazine or a book and then let your work go, let your voice float around the world without ever having to truly engage with the people who heard it.

The beauty of the system was that you could say what you wanted to say without ever really having to talk to anybody.   

Or at least maybe that's how it used to be.

Apparently, it's not like that any more.

Online Writing And The Rise of Social Media 

I've discovered recently that writing is not just about writing any more.  Maybe it never really was, but I can't help but think that the rise of socia media has fundamentally changed the writing profession to the point that it isn't so introvert-friendly.

These days, you have to aggressively market yourself and your work through every available social media outlet - Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube and I'm sure others that I don't even know exist. 

You have to interact with "friends" and readers on a daily basis, posing questions, responding to their thoughts on your work, and constantly trying to cultivate an interesting image that's going to keep people coming back for more.

As writer and media consultant Lela Davidson writes in her post Social Media: Not Just For Social Butterflies: 

"if you’re working online at all, or offline for that matter, and you’re not using social media you’re going to be left behind."

Introverts Struggle With Social Media

For introverts, social media is problematic on a number of levels. 

Case in point: me.

I enjoy writing about many different aspects of parenting.  I've written blog posts on a variety of topics and in a variety of styles, from simple how-to posts like How To Hold A Family Meeting to informative posts on hot parenting topics like Disney Develops New Marketing Campaign Aimed At Newborns to opinion pieces like Report Cards For Parents? No Way! and The 3 Things Pregnant Women Need More Than A Birth Plan.  

But whether I enjoy writing, or write well, is largely irrelevant these days.  Because online writing is all about getting people to read what you've written, and, thus far, I haven't managed to market my writing, or myself, very well. 

I should be sharing everything I write with all my friends on Facebook, and seeking out new contacts via Twitter.  I should really upload a picture so people can see what I look like.  I should be putting it all out there.

I should be the social butterfly that goes against everything that is my nature.

Sure, the constant social interaction might be draining, but it might also be a positive step in coming out of my shell and facing the world head on.

So, if you want to follow me on Twitter, I'm @stlouismartmama.  I promise there will be a picture soon.  And I'm also thinking that there will be an upcoming post here on social media for introverts, as I wade out into the water and figure out how to take advantage of all that social media has to offer. 

Ten Steps To Embracing Social Media For The Socially Challenged, maybe?

I'm thinking it will start with a tip to invest in a few bottles of vodka or tequila to get the party started. 

Or would a drunk social butterfly be a bad thing?

Photo credit: sahlgoode/Flickr

Come Visit Me At Parenting Squad!

I started this blog last year in an effort to make some space in my life for myself. 

So that I would have something, anything, that was just about me -- and not about my much-loved, but often very demanding (and emotionally draining) husband and children. 

Did I really just write that down for all the world to read???  Yes, yes I did.  Because it's true.  Be honest, aren't your children and your spouse emotionally draining at times too? 

I started this blog so that I could have a place to express my opinions on current events and parenting topics that interest me without spouting off to people who don't really care or driving my husband crazy with rants about issues that he really doesn't understand. 

And because I realized that most of my Facebook friends could care less about links to articles about childbirth or feminism or mothering, and were probably going to start defriending me if I didn't stop sharing them.

Sharing links that I love via Sunday Surf posts has been one of my favorite parts of writing St. Louis Smart Mama.

I started this blog because I wanted to start writing again. 

Because I loved to write when I was in high school and college, and I loved teaching kids about writing when I worked as a teacher and a tutor.  But then I had babies and stopped working and I stopped writing too.  In retrospect, it was silly.  Not that I stopped working, but that I stopped writing.  I wish that I had started writing about parenting and motherhood when my daughter was a baby and I was new to the whole gig.  It would be interesting to look back and read what I had written from a fresh-eyed, optimistic, new mom perspective. 

But I think that I needed time to grow into the role of mother, and to realize that my perspective is valuable and that I can say things that other parents will find helpful and/or interesting.  And to learn to not care if people read what I've written and don't agree with me at all and take it upon themselves to tell me how I've done everything wrong. 

Which they will do when you blog.  Or any time you step out of your house really.  It seems that once you're a parent, you're considered fair game for target practice.  I hate to burst your bubble, but if you're expecting you might as well just go ahead and paint a big bullseye on your back. 

I started this blog as a place to practice writing. 

Some of the posts are decent; some of them I don't care for.  Some are informational because I wanted to practice writing the types of articles you find in local parenting magazines; a lot of others are rambling, first-person, stream-of-consciousness type narratives where I really don't say much of anything.

When I started blogging, I wasn't really sure what kind of writing I wanted to do.  And at this point, St. Louis Smart Mama is still just a random assortment of many different types of posts.  I'm very sloooowly working my way towards finding some sort of voice.  Am I funny?  Informative?  Dark?  What's my hook that makes people want to read? 

I still have no freakin' clue.     

But, just by starting this little blog, I found my way to a real freelance job where I get paid to write. 

It's not a big job, or a fancy job, or a job where I get to be the high-powered career woman that my high school guidance counselor was convinced I would become.  It's not even a job that's going to pay for much more than a cart of groceries every month, but it's an opportunity to do something that I love and be more than just a mom. 

That last part is dripping with sarcasm, but no, I'm not going to take the time right now to dissect that phrase and just how much is wrong with it . . . 

So if I'm blogging here a bit less, it's because I'm blogging somewhere else a bit more.  I hope to continue to write here, too, because it's a great place to shoot my mouth off about opinions that no one really cares about, and because there's lots of great local St. Louis stuff that really deserves to be written about.  Stuff that needs to be written about, and I can't say that I've done a very good job thus far. 

Where are all the St. Louis mom blogs?  Am I missing them?  Are they out there?  Blogs are such a great way to share information that I wish there were more local ones.  If you write one, or if you know of one, please send me the link so that I can follow it and add it to my blogroll. 

And if you can't find me here as much, come on over and visit me at Parenting Squad.  Today I've got a post up asking Would You Buy Your Child A Doll That Gives Birth?

Sunday Surfing on Monday: Medication, McDonalds, And Other Things Moms Talk About

I had a Sunday Surf post all prepared, but was sidelined by some weird form of head cold/stomach flu/ poisoning by Theraflu.  Whatever it was that I had, I never made it to the computer.  So we're Sunday Surfing on Monday.  What difference does it make, really?

• Lisa Belkin, author of The New York Times Motherlode blog (and #1 on Babble's recent list of top mom bloggers) has an interesting post entitled Modern Mother's Little Helpers.  No, it isn't about the cute little toddlers who empty the silverware from the dishwasher and put the laundry into the dryer.  It's about the pills that so many moms pop in order to get through the day.  Belkin draws on a post from an anonymous blogger at The Elmo Wallpaper, who wonders what is going on when such large numbers of mothers are so overwhelmed and stressed out that they can't seem to function without the help of prescription meds. 
• San Francisco can ban Happy Meal toys all day long, but according to two eye-opening posts over at Spoonfed, there are far more serious issues when it comes to McDonalds.  Check out both Forget Happy Meal toys. Let's ban McEducation and the follow-up post More McDonald's Madness for some interesting and educational reading.  
• There was a beautiful post from Carrie at The Parenting Passageway about the times when breastfeeding doesn't work out.  She writes: "breastfeeding is wonderful, it provides an excellent start to infants and to families.  However, the way we connect to our children goes through all developmental stages, not just infancy, and not just through breastfeeding." 
• And last but definitely not least, the Cool Mom Picks Holiday Guide is here!!!  Cool Mom Picks is an awesome website run by awesome mom bloggers, and every year they scope out the coolest holiday gift ideas so that you don't have to.  I love that their stuff is unique, and that I can find  handmade items from Etsy mixed in among all their holiday picks. 

Happy Surfing!

My First Sunday Surf: Real Food, Religion, Babble, and A Guest Post

It's been a busy week, complete with a toddler smashing his face in at Super Wal-Mart, a sister headed back to college, and, finally, today, the big move into our new home.

I had already forgotten how much work it is to unpack all your stuff and turn an empty house into a place that feels like home.

So I decided to take a break from deep thinking and just post some stuff that's already been posted.  Call me a slacker, I guess . . .

One of my favorite posts of the week came from Jenny at The Nourished Kitchen.  I've recently discovered Jenny's popular blog where she writes about real food and shares wholesome, traditional recipes, and her food philosophy intrigues me.  Probably because she believes that eating things like meat and butter, which I could never do without, can be part of a healthy diet. 

I don't know what my own food philosophy is right now, but Jenny's post 10 Tips For Real Food Newbies has me thinking that real food may be the way to go.

The story about the mother who revived her premature baby through physical touch after he had been declared dead has also made the rounds in the news this week, and Amy at Crunchy Domestic Goddess has a great post explaining both the story and the meaning and benefits of the term "kangaroo care."

I also really enjoyed the post Religion, The Things That Define Us, and Goodness over at Breastfeeding Moms Unite.  It's always impressive to me when bloggers share their personal thoughts and feelings because it automatically seems to make them more vulnerable to criticism and unsubscribing fans. 

Be sure to read the comments, too -- I was amazed by the intensity of the religious conviction held by so many of the people who responded, and also found the back-and-forth discussion of religious issues to be quite fascinating.

PhD in Parenting has a disappointing post at the moment -- not that I'm disappointed by the post itself, but I am disappointed that it had to be written.  In Similac and Babble Team Up To Dupe Breastfeeding Moms, Annie writes about the new Similac Breastfeeding Guide that is prominently displayed on the popuar parenting website. 

I realize that not all moms breastfeed, but don't those who do deserve to find reliable and accurate resources on any parenting website or in any parenting magazine that wants to be considered credible?  Formula companies aren't reliable breastfeeding resources.  They're just not.       

And if you're interested in birth stuff or have ever considered having a baby at home, check out my guest post over at Birth Activist on the subject of Husbands and Home Birth.  I talk about my own personal experience convicing my husband that home birth was a good choice for us, and offer my own personal theories -- which of course hold absolutely no scientific validity --  about why birth at home (and often birth in general) can be so terrifying for the men in our lives. 

Happy surfing!!!