Sunday Surfing Again: Kindergarten Controversy, Jello Shots, and More From the Mommy Wars

As usual, there are many interesting discssions taking place in the parenting world this week.  Here are just a few that I think are worth reading about.

• Lisa Belkin at The New York Times Motherlode blog writes about the issue of redshirting, in light of the recent decision made by the state of Connecticut to consider changing its cutoff date to keep 4 year-olds out of kindergarten.  The age at which children start kindergarten has never been without controversy, but the topic always makes for an interesting debate where issues of academic vs. emotional preparedness, gender differences, and socioeconmic inequalities come into play.
• It's only May, but 2011 has already been hailed as the Deadliest Year For Twisters Since 1950.  It may not be the best time to live in tornado alley, but at least we can do our part to help, and take the opportunity to teach our children about the importance of helping those in need.  You can donate items like clothing, toys, and toiletries at many local St. Louis malls, or check out articles like Ways Kids Can Assist Tornado Victims for more ideas.
• A post from Amy at Just West of Crunchy found tremendous popularity on Facebook and Twitter.  Top 10 Things Breastfeeding Advocates Should Stop Saying seems to have hit a nerve among both breastfeeding and formula-feeding moms everywhere ... 
• The FDA is seizing birth pools, for reasons that are a complete mystery to me.  But if you're interested in having a home water birth in the future, you may have to use your bath tub or invest in a kiddie pool from Toys R Us (which I've actually heard is a great option).  At first, I thought this was just an internet rumor, but it appears that Barbara Harper (founder of Waterbirth International) is involved, so I think the story is legitimate. 
• And last, but definitely not least, I have three words to kick off your Memorial Day celebration:  Strawberry Jello Shots.  As in, jello shots that you make inside of fresh strawberries.  The pictures of these things over at My Thirty Spot (my new favorite non-mom blog now that I have officially accepted my status as a thirtysomething) are absolutely mouthwatering.  Seriously.  Go. Read. Make.  You won't be disappointed.

Happy Memorial Day!   

Sunday Surfing on Monday: Medication, McDonalds, And Other Things Moms Talk About

I had a Sunday Surf post all prepared, but was sidelined by some weird form of head cold/stomach flu/ poisoning by Theraflu.  Whatever it was that I had, I never made it to the computer.  So we're Sunday Surfing on Monday.  What difference does it make, really?

• Lisa Belkin, author of The New York Times Motherlode blog (and #1 on Babble's recent list of top mom bloggers) has an interesting post entitled Modern Mother's Little Helpers.  No, it isn't about the cute little toddlers who empty the silverware from the dishwasher and put the laundry into the dryer.  It's about the pills that so many moms pop in order to get through the day.  Belkin draws on a post from an anonymous blogger at The Elmo Wallpaper, who wonders what is going on when such large numbers of mothers are so overwhelmed and stressed out that they can't seem to function without the help of prescription meds. 
• San Francisco can ban Happy Meal toys all day long, but according to two eye-opening posts over at Spoonfed, there are far more serious issues when it comes to McDonalds.  Check out both Forget Happy Meal toys. Let's ban McEducation and the follow-up post More McDonald's Madness for some interesting and educational reading.  
• There was a beautiful post from Carrie at The Parenting Passageway about the times when breastfeeding doesn't work out.  She writes: "breastfeeding is wonderful, it provides an excellent start to infants and to families.  However, the way we connect to our children goes through all developmental stages, not just infancy, and not just through breastfeeding." 
• And last but definitely not least, the Cool Mom Picks Holiday Guide is here!!!  Cool Mom Picks is an awesome website run by awesome mom bloggers, and every year they scope out the coolest holiday gift ideas so that you don't have to.  I love that their stuff is unique, and that I can find  handmade items from Etsy mixed in among all their holiday picks. 

Happy Surfing!

My First Sunday Surf: Real Food, Religion, Babble, and A Guest Post

It's been a busy week, complete with a toddler smashing his face in at Super Wal-Mart, a sister headed back to college, and, finally, today, the big move into our new home.

I had already forgotten how much work it is to unpack all your stuff and turn an empty house into a place that feels like home.

So I decided to take a break from deep thinking and just post some stuff that's already been posted.  Call me a slacker, I guess . . .

One of my favorite posts of the week came from Jenny at The Nourished Kitchen.  I've recently discovered Jenny's popular blog where she writes about real food and shares wholesome, traditional recipes, and her food philosophy intrigues me.  Probably because she believes that eating things like meat and butter, which I could never do without, can be part of a healthy diet. 

I don't know what my own food philosophy is right now, but Jenny's post 10 Tips For Real Food Newbies has me thinking that real food may be the way to go.

The story about the mother who revived her premature baby through physical touch after he had been declared dead has also made the rounds in the news this week, and Amy at Crunchy Domestic Goddess has a great post explaining both the story and the meaning and benefits of the term "kangaroo care."

I also really enjoyed the post Religion, The Things That Define Us, and Goodness over at Breastfeeding Moms Unite.  It's always impressive to me when bloggers share their personal thoughts and feelings because it automatically seems to make them more vulnerable to criticism and unsubscribing fans. 

Be sure to read the comments, too -- I was amazed by the intensity of the religious conviction held by so many of the people who responded, and also found the back-and-forth discussion of religious issues to be quite fascinating.

PhD in Parenting has a disappointing post at the moment -- not that I'm disappointed by the post itself, but I am disappointed that it had to be written.  In Similac and Babble Team Up To Dupe Breastfeeding Moms, Annie writes about the new Similac Breastfeeding Guide that is prominently displayed on the popuar parenting website. 

I realize that not all moms breastfeed, but don't those who do deserve to find reliable and accurate resources on any parenting website or in any parenting magazine that wants to be considered credible?  Formula companies aren't reliable breastfeeding resources.  They're just not.       

And if you're interested in birth stuff or have ever considered having a baby at home, check out my guest post over at Birth Activist on the subject of Husbands and Home Birth.  I talk about my own personal experience convicing my husband that home birth was a good choice for us, and offer my own personal theories -- which of course hold absolutely no scientific validity --  about why birth at home (and often birth in general) can be so terrifying for the men in our lives. 

Happy surfing!!!

Why I Find The Stir Annoying As Hell -- or My Response to the Giselle/Breastfeeding-Should-Be-A-Law Controversy

Giselle.

Supermodel extraordinaire.

Once-upon-a-time girlfriend to Leo, wife to NFL superstar Tom Brady. 

New mother.

And a member of the breastfeeding police force.

Okay, not exactly.

I used to dislike Giselle, for no other reason than that she's married to Tom Brady.  And I hated Tom Brady, because if you're from St. Louis you might remember that thing called a Super Bowl that he singlehandedly stole from the Rams and Kurt Warner back when he was a nobody. 

And then he quickly became a somebody and the Patriots went on to dominate the NFL while the St. Louis Rams marched into oblivion.

Okay, that may not be quite how it happened, and it's probably not be a good reason to dislike the woman, but in my mind, that's how it went.  Throw in the whole Bridget Moynahan debacle, and Tom and Giselle just didn't seem like people I should like. 

But then she went and had that natural home birth in a bathtub.  Which is something that I did too.  You can call me crazy -- lots of people have.

So, in my eyes, Giselle's stock went way up.  And I started to hate Tom Brady a little less.  It isn't every man who is secure enough and smart enough to see the benefits of home birth, or to support his wife in her desire to have one. 

For some reason, moms seem to bond with celebrities who are vocally supportive of their own parenting choices.  Or even with celebrity moms who are simply pregnant at the same time.  I could say something witty and insightful here about our country's national obsession with celebrity culture, but, hey, it is what is.  I didn't say that it's right.

So now, Giselle is in the news again, for stating that mandatory breastfeeding for six months should be a "worldwide law."  Now to be fair, I'm not sure exactly what her words were.  It was said during an interview, when words can be taken out of context.  But, man, has she been flamed. 

The Stir published a blog post entitled Why I Find Giselle Bundchen Annoying As Hell, which I hated and which tempted me to write my own blog post entitled Why I Find The Stir Annoying As Hell.  You can't criticize someone for being judgemental when you're in the midst of judging them yourself.  Giselle may not have expressed herself very well, but playing the "empty-headed supermodel" card is just lame. 

And, no, Linda Sharps, it was not Giselle's ATTITUDE that got her a complication-free birth.  Preparation and knowledge do, in fact, make a big difference in birth outcome, and Giselle's decision to labor at home went a long way in getting her the birth she wanted. 

Hers was not the decision of an empty-headed supermodel, thank you very much.

Okay, so now we know that I'm annoyed by the The Stir . . .

I'll be the first to admit that Giselle needs to choose her words more carefully.   I can completely understand why so many people have been offended by some of the things she has said; she doesn't appear to have a lot of tact.  And while I support breastfeeding to 6 months and beyond, I absolutely do not believe that women need any more pressure than they are already under. 

A breastfeeding law would do nothing but create more stress for new moms who are constantly told that "breast is best" but rarely given the support and information that they need to breastfeed successfully.  Women in our culture are caught in a catch-22, and silly statements from celebrities, even celebrities I like or agree with, don't help the situation.

Although I also don't understand the thinking of one commenter who said that after hearing Giselle, it "makes her want to formula-feed."  Come on, trying to stick it to a celebrity who doesn't even know you exist is not a good enough reason to use formula.  It's just not.   

In response to all the controversy, Giselle has issued a statement on her blog, clarifying what she meant.  Giselle writes:

"My intention in making a comment about the importance of breastfeeding has nothing to do with a law.  Becoming a new mom has brought a lot of questions, I feel like I am in a constant search for answers on what might be best for my child."      

So I'm conflicted as to what my ultimate response to this whole situation should be.  I agree with most of what I think Giselle has meant to say, though I don't think that she has articulated herself very well.  She has come across as judgemental in many situations.  I don't like that. 

But I do like hearing from celebrity moms who parent in a less than mainstream way.  And I do think that she should be allowed her opinion.

Because, in the end, it's just that.  An opinion.  From a woman who is new to motherhood and still trying to figure it out.  A woman whose thoughts and feelings really have no bearing on my life or yours. 

As moms, we get opinions from everybody -- our mother-in-law, the busybody neigbour down the street, and, yes, celebrities.  But I stopped listening to my mother-in-law years ago.

And if you don't like what a celebrity says, you can stop listening to her too.

Keeping Up With the Kardashians

Last month, Kim Kardashian made headlines when she tweeted about her discomfort with public breastfeeding.  And then Kim tweeted again, this time referencing her breastfeeding sister Kourtney and saying that women should cover up.

(For an excellent take on the situation, far more nuanced than my own, check out this post from Her Bad Mother). 

A few weeks later, Kourtney wrote a post on her own blog about her experience breastfeeding her son Mason.  And then last Wednesday, Kourtney added a blog entry about co-sleeping with her son.

It's no wonder the title of their show is Keeping Up With the Kardashians.  They're a busy bunch . . .

So why am I writing about this? 

I'm not a big fan of reality shows or silly celebrities.  I tend to not watch people like the Kardashians.  But I have a lot of respect for many of the things that Kourtney writes about in her recent blog posts.  She's open and honest about how much he loves breastfeeding her son Mason.  She talks about the benefits of nursing exclusively for 6 months before starting solid foods, and is open about the fact that she doesn't plan to stop any time soon.  She even writes about nursing Mason on an airplane during takeoff and landing -- which can be hugely helpful when flying with an infant because the jaw motion helps with ear popping as the air pressure changes.  It's like the baby equivalent of gum chewing.  And not something that a lot of moms know about.

In her post about co-sleeping, Kourtney writes about how at first she thought the idea was crazy.  And about how she reached the decision that it was something she wanted to try.  She says that she loves the time snuggling up with him at night when she's had a long, busy day.  I share many of her feelings, and I think it's really neat to see a celebrity who is willing to open up about making parenting choices that are not exactly mainstream.  I imagine that many of Kourtney's fans are young women who don't know anything about breastfeeding, and didn't even know that co-sleeping is an option. 

No matter what your opinion of the Kardashians, I think that Kourtney is having a tremendously positive impact by bringing these ideas to her mainstream audience.  Any time we see a more complex image of motherhood in the media, it's a good thing. 

So why again am I writing about this?

The dates. 

Her first post was dated 6/22/10.  Her second post was dated 6/29/10.  Both appeared right on the heels her sister's tweet and the ensuing anti-Kim controversy among the natural parenting community.  Maybe I'm too cynical, but it seems like a little more than a coincidence that the Kardashian's need for positive parenting press just happened to coincide with Kourtney's desire to share details of her own experiences. 

You know, these people are skilled at PR.  I mean getting publicity is pretty much all that the Kardashians are skilled at, right?

Tell me that it doesn't look like Kourtney wrote these posts to take the heat off of her sister and draw in a whole new audience of mamas who may not have followed the Kardashians before . . .

I would like to believe it's not true.  For some strange reason I can't fully understand, I like the Kardashians.  I particularly like Kourtney.  I like that she's talked openly about aspects of motherhood that most celebrities don't share, and I like that she's been candid about the fact that she's had doubts as to whether what she's doing is right.  It all just seems so honest.

Except that maybe, it's not.

**********

What do you think?  Are Kourtney's blog posts genuine?  Or are they just part of a larger PR stunt within the family?

On Moving, Attachment Parenting, and Finding Stability in the Instability

My son recently turned two.  And we've just moved into the fifth house that he's lived in since he was born. 

In her six years on this planet, my daughter has called six different places home.

And, believe it or not, we're not finished yet.  Our recent move was a temporary one.  At the moment, we're in a kind of a stopping-over place until we can find a permanent home where we can put down roots and finally unpack every last box.

So yeah, if you're wondering, I'm feeling like mother of the year right now . . .

No, we aren't gypsies or drifters or circus people.  No, we never intended to move this many times, and we certainly never intended to do it with young children.  But life has a way of throwing you curve balls, and sometimes you just have to play the hand you're dealt. 

And you know what?  It hasn't been that bad. 

Through the many moves, the parade of houses that never quite felt like home, my children have coped remarkably well.

Experts may caution that moving can be "traumatic" for kids, who supposedly thrive on "familiarity and routine."  Okay, sure, moving a lot isn't the ideal situation for young children, but it doesn't have to destroy them for life either.  In my opinion, my children have managed well for one very simple reason:  they aren't attached to their things, they're attached to me.

In our culture today, we place a lot of emphasis on "stuff."  As adults, we're often impressed by the cars we drive, the clothes we wear, and the houses we live in.  We shower our children with all the supposedly necessary baby gadgets and hot new "it" toys of the moment.  Many parents think that a special blanket or a beloved pacifier or a bedtime routine that takes place at the same time every evening in the same bedroom with the same exact crib will provide children with the security that they need to grow up feeling safe and loved.

Sorry, but that's not necessarily true.

Children do need security and familiarity.  But they shouldn't derive it from their relationship with their things.  It's the relationships that they form with the important people in their lives that should make them feel secure. 

My little boy has slept in my bed from the day he was born.  He doesn't care when the bed or the bedroom  changes, because he always has the familiarity of falling asleep next to me.  And he wakes up to find me right where he left me.  He's never had a pacifier or a security blanket because I'm both of those things to him.  He nurses for comfort or to pacify himself when he's scared or upset; he clings to me instead of an object in new and uncertain situations.  He's happy and he's well-adjusted and he's secure.   

I've raised my daughter in much the same way.  She might be older, and more independent, but she's independent and secure precisely because she's been securely attached to me from the day she was born.

Some people refer to the kind of parenting I'm talking about as attachment parenting.  Basically, that's what I do; I just don't like the label.  I pretty much parent by instinct, doing what feels right to me and what works for our family.  I've been raising my kids this way since I first became a mom, before I had ever even heard the term attachment parenting or been introduced to Dr. Sears. 

Now I don't mean to wax poetic about what a great mother I am or how life is always a bed of roses when you choose to parent in a way that's truly responsive to your children's needs.  The fact is, it's pretty damn hard.  There are days when you feel like you're suffocating.  There are days when you feel like a martyr.

Always being there to meet your child's every need is not only exhausting, it's impossible.

But being attached to our children from the very beginning has huge benefits.  We come to understand them well from a very early age.  We know which needs are most important to them.  We know which child can't fall asleep by himself because he is afraid of the dark, and which one needs her alone time.  We can tell when our child  really needs us, and when an alternate caregiver will do.  We know what types of situations they handle well, and what types of situations cause them stress.

They, in turn, know that they can trust us absolutely and that we will always be there for them.  They know that, no matter where we live, they can always climb into our bed in the middle of the night. 

They know that, even when houses and cities and jobs and friends change, they've always got their parents. 

They know what's truly important in life.

And, mother of the year or not, that's a lesson that I'm pretty damn proud to have taught them.

News Flash: Celebrities Say Stupid Things - In Defense of Kim Kardashian

Another day, another celebrity making stupid remarks.  This time it's Kim Kardashian backpedaling as fast as her thick thighs will carry her about a tweet she made regarding public breastfeeding.

Her exact tweet: on 6/18/10:

EWW Im at lunch,the woman at the table next 2 me is

breast feeding her baby w no cover up

then puts baby on table and changes her diaper

After receiving a storm of criticism, she followed by it with this tweet on 6/19/10:

My sister breast feeds!  Its a natural beautiful thing.

there's nothing wrong w it, but she covers herself, not w her boobs exposed

I'm fairly certain that tweet #2, which appears designed to appease some majorly pissed-off breastfeeding moms, only made her situation worse.  By explicitly saying what she implied in tweet #1, that moms should cover up when nursing in public, Kim became an instant hypocrite in the eyes of many.  The irony of a Playboy model who is famous for appearing scantily clad complaining about women showing their boobs is hard to miss. 

But . . .

I still don't quite think she deserved what she got.  I mean, she really made some people angry, and they made some really nasty comments, on Twitter and all over the Internet.  Lactivists in particular were fired up, and blog post after blog post rolled out on the subject.  References to the sex tape she's got floating around out there came up repeatedly.

Now, I'm a mom who has logged a lot of years breastfeeding.  I believe that babies need to eat, and that people in our culture do need to get over the notion that there should be any restrictions on when and where this can happen.  In other words, I'm all for women nursing in public, and I don't think that they should have to cover up just to make other people comfortable.  I also believe that anyone who has never actually nursed a baby has no concept of how difficult it can be to "cover up."  Most babies don't like blankets over their heads.  They may be small, but they're people, and they have opinions just like anybody else. 

Kim Kardashian obviously doesn't get all this. 

But is she supposed to?

What is she?  A model?  A playmate?  A woman who is famous for being famous?  She's not a rocket scientist people!!!  If all she has ever been exposed to is the idea that you're supposed to cover up when you nurse, has she ever given any thought to the idea that maybe you don't need to or that sometimes it isn't feasible?  I'm guessing that the irony of her telling women to cover their tits never even dawned on her, and I'm seriously wondering if she even understands the term irony.

I agree with most of what's been said, and particularly loved this post over at Code Name: Mama comparing pictures of Kim "fully dressed" with pictures of moms who are nursing.  You can probably guess who was showing more boob . . .

But celebrities aren't known for being the smartest of the bunch.  (I'm guessing that all those Hollywood publicists are really loving Twitter and all the stupid things that their celebrity clients tweet).

Is it really fair to blame Kim Kardashian or any other celebrity for making an ill-informed comment when it's really a problem that exists in society at large?

If anything, such comments present an opportunity to start conversations about the issue at hand -- for example, nursing in public and when and if women ever should cover up.  Yes, somebody needs to make sure that Kim understands why these comments are unnecessary, and why she in particular should not be making them. 

But is it fair to vilify her when she didn't know any better?  Is it really her fault?  Going off on a woman who is practically a porn star might feel good, but it isn't going to solve the greater problem of our culture's fear of lactating breasts. 

Don't get angry at Kim Kardashian.  Get angry at the culture that made her famous.  Get angry at the culture that rewards her for looking like a porn star.  Get angry at the culture that gave her the idea that what she does with her breasts is acceptable, but that feeding a hungry child with them is not.

She's a celebrity.  She said something stupid.  So what?  She's not the issue. 

I say we leave Kim Kardashian alone.  We have bigger battles to fight.   

The Nestle Wars (Or Why I Buy My Chocolate Chips at Trader Joe's)

Until recently, I didn't follow any blogs.  In fact, I didn't think of blogs as anything more than a family newsletter of sorts, a way to keep tabs on the people in my life without ever having to pick up the phone.

But I've discovered that, while I was busy semi-stalking my friends and family, there was a whole blogosphere world that was exploding without me.  As I've admitted before, I initially felt a lot of disdain for mommy bloggers, and didn't see much of a point in following the ramblings of a strange woman with whom I had no personal relationship. 

However . . .   

I now think I've found my tribe.

I'm not talking about the millions of moms out there who are using blogs as personal family newsletters (which, by the way, I love to read if they're written by someone I know).  I am talking about a small but growing group of moms who are using their blogs as a platform to raise awareness about a wide variety of issues related to motherhood and raising children.  These blogging moms are sharing a lot more than personal experience; they're also sharing accurate, well-researched information and some very intelligent thinking.  They've created a community where women from across the country can voice their opinions, share what they know, and dialogue with one another about some very important issues.

This, in fact, is going on right now.  At this very moment, these women are out there posting, and commenting on each other's posts, and then commenting on the comments.  The mommy blogs are very, very busy.

The issue on the table:  the Nestle boycott.

As a breastfeeding mom, I've been aware of the Nestle boycott for a long time.  It's literally been going on for decades and, in fact, there's even a Wikipedia page about it.  The boycott began in 1977 as a protest to the company's unethical practice of marketing baby formula by undermining breastfeeding, and escalated in 1981 when the World Health Organization published an International Code of Marketing of Breast-milk Substitutes.  Nestle has yet to comply with this Code, and as a result, the boycott is still in full swing over thirty years later.

Why the outrage?

Because babies die from formula. 

Yes, in the United States where we have clean water and access to high-quality medical, formula is a relatively safe (albeit still inferior) option.  But in third-world countries where breastfeeding can mean life or death for an infant, a company that provides free samples of formula is playing with fire.  When a breastfeeding mother in the third-world repeatedly feeds her baby "free" formula samples, her own body will gradually stop producing the milk she needs to feed her baby on her own.  She'll end up having to pay for more formula (which is what the savvy marketers at Nestle are counting on).  She's very likely to mix that formula with dirty, contaminated water, and since she's unable to protect that baby through breastfeeding, the odds are way too high that her baby might die.   

So what does all of this have to do with chocolate chips and mommy bloggers?

Well, the chocolate chips are my small (and, yes, most likely pointless) contribution to the Nestle boycott.  I recognize that there are situations where formula is necessary and that, in certain cases, babies do benefit from it's existence.  I understand that mothers choose formula for a variety of reasons, and that those reasons are not mine to judge.  But I also know that there are quantities of women out there who desperately wanted to breastfeed but failed because of all of those "free" formula samples that Nestle gives to the hospitals and the pediatricians and any pregnant woman whose name they can get a hold of.  They know what they're doing, those marketing people at Nestle, and they're doing it on purpose, and that's why so many people don't like them.

That's why so many people have chosen not to buy any Nestle products.  That's why I refuse to buy their chocolate chips.

One of those people who doesn't like Nestle is a popular blogger named Annie who has written some really great and very informative posts about the issue at her blog PhD in Parenting.  She avidly supports the boycott of Nestle, but is scheduled to speak at the BlogHer '10 Conference, where it has recently been announced that more than one Nestle subsidiary will be a sponsor.

So now Annie and many other bloggers are struggling to decide the best course of action.  Do they still attend and loudly voice their opposition to Nestle's involvement?  Or do they stay home and participate in a boycott in the fullest sense of the word? 

To say that there is a lot of disagreement about this would be the understatement of the year.  Bloggers who don't boycott Nestle (and there are many who aren't interested in the issue at all) were called out and reprimanded last year for attending a different Nestle sponsored event.  And now they are very vocally questioning any one who criticized them but still chooses to attend BlogHer's conference.  Everyone seems to have an opinion about the right course of action, and many seem to feel free to openly judge the choices made by others. 

In one way, this is the ugly side of mommy blogging -- the catty comments, the imaginary battle lines drawn in the sand, the fear of saying anything at all because you never know when it's going to come back and bite you in the ass.  Personally, I wish that the conversation was a little more civil, and I don't like the way so many bloggers feel free to judge each other, but that doesn't change the fact that this heated exchange is raising public awareness of Nestle's questionable marketing practices.

The bloggers involved, as well as their readers and commenters, are discussing Nestle as a company, and getting into issues of personal ethics, and sharing some incredibly nuanced positions on what the term boycott truly means.  Their methods might be unconventional and their comments might sometimes be unprofessional, but as I've said before, mommy bloggers are a force to be reckoned with.  Check out some of the links that I've included.  You'll learn a lot.  Much of it will be the things that Nestle doesn't want you to know.

If I were Nestle, I wouldn't like these mommy bloggers one bit.  

'Cause God Forbid We Teach Kids the REAL Reason Why Women Have Boobies

The issue of public breastfeeding is once again in the news, thanks to one breastfeeding mother in Tampa, FL who refused to move when a school principal offered her "a more private place" to nurse her child.  Apparently, the No Food and Drink sign posted in the elementary school lobby also applies to breast milk . . .

The controversy over whether women should be allowed to nurse in public isn't new.  According to Babytalk magazine, 57% of Americans still disapprove of a mother feeding her child in public.  But in many states, incuding Florida, there are laws that protect a woman's right to nurse her child in any public place where she is authorized to be.

Except, apparently, the law is open to interpretation.

When Melissa Taylor approached Hillsborough School District with her frustration at being told not to breastfeed in one of their Tampa Schools, she thought she had the law on her side.  But, instead, the school board stood behind the principal involved and made no effort to protect what Taylor thought were her legal rights.

Why?  Because they found an impenetrable argument:  there are children involved.  Young children.  Young boys.  And God forbid if a little boy sees a woman nursing her child and puts two and two together and realize that THAT'S why mommy has those boobies.  The cultural message at play here couldn't be any clearer.  


It's okay to nurse in public, unless young children, and specifically young boys, might see you.


Okay, I get it that breastfeeding makes a lot of people uncomfortable.  I get that breasts are highly sexualized in our culture, and tend to evoke thoughts of strip clubs instead of lunch or dinner.  I get that the school district in Tampa was walking a fine line, trying to figure out how to respect a breastfeeding mother's rights and "protect" students whose parents didn't want to have to explain basic biology. 

I agree that sometimes common courtesy and respect for the discomfort of others might be motivation for a breastfeeding mother to choose some place more private.     

But I also have to ask what we're doing as a society when we accept the premise that children shouldn't know the basic facts about how babies eat. 

I don't quite get how we're going to normalize breastfeeding if we aren't teaching our children that it's normal.  And I don't quite understand why we're making the children the issue when it's obvious that it's the adults who have a problem with it.

Check out this video clip from Sesame Street, where Maria nurses her baby, in front of a young girl.




Food for thought, no boobies exposed.