8 Reasons Why I Love Summer Vacation (Or Why I Really Should Be A Homeschool Mom)

I'll admit it.  I waste too much time reading parenting blogs.
 
But technically, since, I get paid to blog about various parenting topics myself, I like to classify the large blocks of time I spend surfing the Internet as "work."

I'm actually researching trends and keeping my finger on the pulse of all the hot topics and daily controversies in the parenting world ...  

It sounds good, at least, right?

Parents Fear Summer Vacation?

In the past few weeks while I've been busy researching, I've come across several blog posts and articles by moms (and a few dads) bemoaning the fact that summer vacation has arrived.   

"What will I do with my kids home every day?" 

"How do I entertain them?" 

"Help! Find me the nearest full-day camp!"

Blogs and magazines are full of tips for how to keep your kids busy and ways to avoid tearing your hair out.  On one hand, I totally get it, and I sympathize.  School provides a welcome break from the tedium that is child-rearing, and summer break signals an almost inevitable explosion in whining, fighting, and that damned sibling rivalry.    

But on the other hand, I must be wired differently.  Because, despite the drawbacks, I am totally psyched about summer vacation.  We're only one week in at our house, and I'm already in absolute heaven. 

I think summer vacation is awesome.  Here's why.

8 Reasons Why I Love Summer Vacation 

1.  No schedules. 

I'm NOT a Type-A sort of person, so the whole get everyone up by 7:50 and out the door 30 minutes later isn't really my cup of tea.  I hate having to wake up my kids (or get out of bed myself) after a late night just because school starts at 8:45 on the dot and the tardy slips are ready and waiting.  During the school year, your whole day seems to be dictated by drop-off and pick-up times, and you never seem to be able to escape the clock.  

During the summer, you can come and go as you like.  If your kids stay up late, they can sleep in late too.  If you end up going to the grocery store at 3:25, you don't have to race through to make sure you're back at school by 3:40.  You don't have to fight to impose the early bedtime that is necessary so they can get up for school, and bedtime doesn't dictate dinner time.

You can shop when you like, and eat when you like, and sleep when you like.

Summer really is a beautiful thing.     

2.  More free time.  

School isn't the only thing that keeps you busy during the school year.  All the sports teams, and dance classes, and scout troops, and school plays, and activities keep you running in circles if youlet them.  Summer may not mean the end of everything, but it almost always means you can find a little more time to relax and do whatever you want. 

3.  I'm in charge.

I may not be Type-A, but I'll admit to being a bit of a control freak, particularly when it comes to who's in charge of my kids (and me).  And apparently I'm not the only one. 

Stephanie O'Dea (author of the popular 365 Crockpot Blog) had this to say in a post she wrote about How To Stop the Summer Brain Drain.   

"I'm greatly looking forward to having the kids home with me when school lets out. No matter how involved I am in the school, during the school year, Adam and I are not in charge. The teacher is. I wish I could say this doesn't bother me, but I'd be lying. The school calendar dominates our day-to-day life, and I'm looking forward to getting a more natural flow to our days."

Yes, yes, and yes. 

4.  Less stress for everybody (especially mom).

No lunches to pack.  No "school" clothes to constantly put through the laundry.  Less pressure.  The minute school ended last week, I could instantly feel a giant weight lifted from my shoulders.  I get to be more relaxed, which means we all have more fun. 

What's that saying?  "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy?" 

5.  Different (and dare I say better) educational opportunities.

During the school year, kids get so busy with actual school that they often don't have a lot of time to pursue other educational opportunities.  Summer means swimming lessons, leisurely days spent reading and visiting the library, and the opportunity to participate in all types of camps and classes, from sports and space camps to academic and acting camps. 

Trips to fun and educational places like the zoo or local farms or science centers are also a lot easier to plan during the summer months.  And as a parent, you also have the option of buying some workbooks or planning activities to help your child with some of their personal weaknesses or particular areas of interest.

If your children love science, do some science experiments.  If they need handwriting practice, hit the school supply store and get to work!  

6.  Good, old-fashioned fun.

Children need to play.  Play is part of how they learn.  But many schools these days limit recess, and kids spend hours on end sitting at their desk.  Yes, you'll hear the "I'm bored" chorus, but some educational experts actually believe that this is a good thing. 

Kim John Payne, author of the book Simplicity Parenting, believes that bored kids are really kids on the verge of discovery.  He suggests that our children have entirely too much stimulation in their lives, and that time and space for simple, creative play is all they truly need.         

7.  A cleaner house.

I know it doesn't make sense, but I swear my house is cleaner in the summer.  Maybe it's because there are fewer papers spilling out of a backpack on a daily basis, or because we spend so much time outside instead of indoors making a mess, or because there's actually more time to clean when school and homework are out of the way.

8.  Time to connect.

A good friend of mine recently complained that, during the school year, she rarely has the opportunity to spend quality time with her daughter.  "It's just maintenance," she stated, and I totally got what she meant. 

We get so busy telling them to do their homework and finish their breakfast and hurry up and get in the car that we don't have time to just be with our kids and enjoy their company.  Summer is a great time to connect with our children on a deeper level, even if that just means chilling on the couch, without all the constraints that a busy school year brings.

Do you love summer vacation?  Or do you prefer having your kids go to school?  Do you find it hard to entertain them and enjoy them when they're home all day every day? 

 

Sunday Surfing Again: Kindergarten Controversy, Jello Shots, and More From the Mommy Wars

As usual, there are many interesting discssions taking place in the parenting world this week.  Here are just a few that I think are worth reading about.

• Lisa Belkin at The New York Times Motherlode blog writes about the issue of redshirting, in light of the recent decision made by the state of Connecticut to consider changing its cutoff date to keep 4 year-olds out of kindergarten.  The age at which children start kindergarten has never been without controversy, but the topic always makes for an interesting debate where issues of academic vs. emotional preparedness, gender differences, and socioeconmic inequalities come into play.
• It's only May, but 2011 has already been hailed as the Deadliest Year For Twisters Since 1950.  It may not be the best time to live in tornado alley, but at least we can do our part to help, and take the opportunity to teach our children about the importance of helping those in need.  You can donate items like clothing, toys, and toiletries at many local St. Louis malls, or check out articles like Ways Kids Can Assist Tornado Victims for more ideas.
• A post from Amy at Just West of Crunchy found tremendous popularity on Facebook and Twitter.  Top 10 Things Breastfeeding Advocates Should Stop Saying seems to have hit a nerve among both breastfeeding and formula-feeding moms everywhere ... 
• The FDA is seizing birth pools, for reasons that are a complete mystery to me.  But if you're interested in having a home water birth in the future, you may have to use your bath tub or invest in a kiddie pool from Toys R Us (which I've actually heard is a great option).  At first, I thought this was just an internet rumor, but it appears that Barbara Harper (founder of Waterbirth International) is involved, so I think the story is legitimate. 
• And last, but definitely not least, I have three words to kick off your Memorial Day celebration:  Strawberry Jello Shots.  As in, jello shots that you make inside of fresh strawberries.  The pictures of these things over at My Thirty Spot (my new favorite non-mom blog now that I have officially accepted my status as a thirtysomething) are absolutely mouthwatering.  Seriously.  Go. Read. Make.  You won't be disappointed.

Happy Memorial Day!   

Putting The Smart Into St. Louis Smart Mama: How I Named My Blog and Why I Don't Like It

It's true.  I don't like the name of my blog at all.  Primarily because I tend to think that people who refer to themselves as "smart" are smug and, often, quite pretentious.

And that's not me.

But when you set up an account with Blogger, you have to have a name right away so that you can set up your web address.  And I for the life of me couldn't come up with one that I liked.

There are tons of cute and clever and witty blog titles out there.  I was convinced that if I thought hard enough and long enough then I could certainly come up with one too -- something short and catchy that would capture my essence and epitomize the funny and poignant things I hoped to write about.

As it turns out, I couldn't think of anything clever.  And I also haven't done any of the funny, poignant, earth-shatteringly good writing that I was hoping to do.

Which is kinda the very reason why my blog has the title that it does.

Because I used to be smart.  Back in the day, I did really well in school.  As in, like, I was the girl who was always reading and studying and who graduated from high school as the salutatorian with one of those ridiculously inflated GPA's. 

4.608 cumulative to be exact.  There was even one year when I had a 5.0.  Now, you can argue that that's only one kind of smart, and I'll be the first to agree that the system of class rank is a bad way to judge aptitude, and that my #2 ranking in no way means that I was really any smarter than the student who graduated at #3 or at #10 or at #500 for that matter.

But I do think that it's proof that I'm far from being an idiot.  I had so much AP credit from high school that I was able to graduate from a really good college in three years, instead of the typical four. 

I did very well in school because I was good at reading difficult texts and analyzing nuances and writing about deep and complicated issues in a clear and articulate way.  I once had a professor tell me that mine was "the best undergraduate paper he had ever read." 

I'm not writing this because I think you care.  I'm writing this to remind myself.

Because, now, I'm a stay-at-home mom.  It's been almost ten years since I saw the inside of a classroom, or wrote something that someone was going to read and grade.  And, let me tell you, I feel like I've been majorly "dumbed down."  Like my brain doesn't function the way it used to, and like I can neither comprehend nor articulate as I once could. 

People I went to school with are now getting PhD's, and I can barely think clearly enough to decide whether to serve chicken or tacos for dinner.

Why has this happened?  I don't know.  There's an interesting post over at Fertile Feminism that tackles the issue of "baby brain," and whether the phenomenon of mothers losing intellectual capacity actually exists.

"Is the psychology of motherhood subconsciously learned and culturally-ingrained or is it simply a case of biological design, wherein mothers are destined to expend more brain power on their offspring than on themselves or the world around them?"

I don't think my kids have made me "stupid," but I do think that they somehow manage to sap all of my energy.  It's hard to think clearly or do anything intellectual in nature when two small and very dependent people are always right beside you and always in need of something. 

Maybe other women have figured it out, and can combine childrearing and intellectual work. 

I clearly haven't.     

The fact remains that I just don't feel very smart anymore.  Right before I started blogging, my husband bought me a book called Buddhism: Plain and Simple.  The book is fascinating (as is Buddhism itself), but I found myself reading and re-reading passages three and four times trying to grasp the concepts that were being discussed.  I felt like I was back in Calculus class.  I felt like I shouldn't have to be thinking quite so hard in order to understand what the author was talking about. 

"Back in the day," I thought to myself, "I would have been smart enough to only have to read this once.  I used to be smarter than this."

I used to be smarter than this.

I used to be smarter than this.

The thought just wouldn't get out of my head.

And then I decided to start blogging.

St. Louis Smart Mama is the title I decided to use because it defines who I want to be -- and because I like the alliteration and couldn't think of anything better. 

I'm from St. Louis.  I'm a mom.  And I want to be smart, and have smart conversations about topics that really matter. 
So this blog is just me, trying to remind myself of how smart I used to be. 

And trying to convince myself that I can be that smart again.

Photo credit: Goodlad2       

Can Children Teach Themselves?

I'm always fascinated by new and seemingly radical ideas about education.  This may explain why I was so intrigued when I came across this talk from education scientist Sugata Mitra.

Mitra's premise:  that children, if motivated by their own curiosity, can teach both themselves and others.

Watch his talk below.  What can we learn from his ideas and techniques to improve the educational system here in the United States? 

Would our children learn more if we offered guided instruction less?   



If you enjoyed the ideas in this video, or are interested in reading more from someone who questions the goals and values inherent within the American public school system, you might also like John Taylor Gatto's book Dumbing Us Down:  The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. 

True Mom Confessions: I Sent My Daughter to Kindergarten Because She Watches Too Much TV

Photo credit: woodleywonderworks

Is it really possible that many St. Louis students are headed back to school next week?  In the midst of this heat wave?  Isn't this one of those, oh, I don't know, really good reasons why school didn't used to start until after Labor Day?  And am I actually at a point where I'm old enough to start remembering back in the day? 

Just kill me now . . .

My own daughter isn't currently a part of the back-to-school fanfare and won't be headed to school next week -- because we're still finalizing details of where we'll be moving to for this school year, and because I'm still wrestling with my eternally conflicted feelings about home school vs. public school vs. the private schools that we can't afford. 

So I've decided to share a post that I wrote last year, about my decision to send my daughter to kindergarten in Florida.  It was a tough one, and not one that was reached lightly.  But, in the end, it was also a good one.  A really good one.  So I'm hoping that, by revisiting my thinking back then, I'll be inspired to give myself a much-needed kick in the rear, and will be able to make a decision one way or the other about what to do this year.  And then, you know, move on.

Or maybe not.  I guess we'll see . . .

********************************

I sent my daughter to kindergarten because she watches too much TV.

Okay, that's not entirely true . . .

But it's a little more true than I would like it to be . . .

I know that, for most people, you send your child to kindergarten because he or she has turned five by whatever randomly designated "cutoff date" your home state has decreed. 

Or you have your child "tested," determine that you have a genius on your hands, and send little Johnny off a year early, despite the fact that, no matter how smart he is, he is in no way developmentally ready for the unavoidable emotional stresses of school.

Yes, that is an unnecessary smart-ass remark.

I, unfortunately, am not one of those people who is content to do something just because someone else said I should. 

Especially Florida's Department of Education. 

Do you remember the 2000 election and the stellar role that the state of Florida played in that disaster?  That tends to make me even more squeamish about the idea of the state government having any sort of a say in my child's education.

I have serious qualms with the public school system in general, and Florida's full-day kindergarten program in particular.  And yet, last month, I turned my precious 5 year-old daughter over to that very kindergarten program.

Why, you might ask?

It wasn't because she just happened to turn 5 before September 1.  It wasn't because I thought she needed social interaction.  It wasn't because I expected her to learn a lot, or thought they might actually teach her something worthwhile.  It wasn't even because I needed a break and wanted to have some time away from her.

It was mostly because of the Disney channel.

We love the Disney channel in our house:  Hannah Montana, The Suite Life (at the Tipton or On Deck), Sonny With A Chance, Wizards of Waverly Place . . . you get the picture.

Photo credit alacoolk

And except for the morning (when there is Playhouse Disney, as some of you may know) the shows are on ALL DAY LONG!!!

Now, letting my daughter sit on the couch and watch the Disney channel all day long is in no way my idea of good mothering.  And I can honestly -- and I'm breathing a sigh of relief here -- say that there has never been a day when this has happened.

But recently, we've come way too close.  I can slowly feel myself morphing into the kind of mom who would let her kids watch TV all day, every day if it meant that I could get even a moment of peace.

So I decided that school just might be a better alternative right now. 

For both of us.

She can get out of the house and away from her grouchy, overly-stressed mother, and interact with adults who aren't, well, me.

And I can have six hours a day free from her constant chatter.  I wouldn't call it a break, since I'm still chasing a wildly energetic 15 month-old, but at least he doesn't talk yet, and there are moments when I can actually hear myself think.

They're fleeting, but they are there.

Yes, I feel guilty.  I feel like she's going to school for the wrong reasons.  I worry that I'm killing her creativity and ruining her life.  I think about homeschooling, which was (and still is) attractive to me in so many ways, not the least of which is the fact that I wouldn't have to drag my tired self out of bed at the crack of dawn every morning -- okay, okay, neither would she -- I'm supposed to be thinking about what's best for her, not me, I know.

And there's this awesome thing called unschooling where you as a parent don't really have to do anything except trust that they'll learn what they need to know when they need to know it.

This ALL appeals to me.

But, at the moment, she loves kindergarten.  She loves her teacher and her classmates and all the daily drama and excitement that comes with a room full of 5 year-olds. 

Kindergarten, as it turns out, is a lot more entertaining than I am.   

And even though I like to think that, if she were home during the day, I would do all sorts of fun, enriching activities, I know that it would never happen.  When you're at a point in your life where you're asking yourself what on earth made you decide that you had it together enough to actually try and raise other people, it just doesn't feel like the best time to take on more responsibility.

So, at least for the time being, I chose kindergarten over the Disney channel.  Was it the right choice?  I don't know. My hope is that the public school system will teach my daughter something more valuable than what she might learn from Miley Cyrus.

My fear is that it won't.

****************************

In case you were wondering, I'm at a much better place in my life now than I was when I wrote this a year ago . . .   

And, yes, my daughter did, in fact, learn more in kindergarten than she would have from Miley Cyrus -- and, given the year that Miley has had, I'm glad that I chose to separate them :)

But I still maintain my overall concerns with our public school system, whether in Florida or Missouri or any other state.  One positive experience, with one particular teacher, in one particular school, can't negate what is, overall, a very flawed system.

So now what?  

Now, I have some serious thinking to do.